Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
