ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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