it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
