She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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