This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize