the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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