I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
