it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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