so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
