You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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