I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
