the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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