Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
