I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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