This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
