Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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