I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
