i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
