i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize