did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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