we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
