marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
