Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
