No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
