I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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