Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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