If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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