Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
