I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
