Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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