I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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