youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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