i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think people are normalizing furries
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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