Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Drake has all the answers
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
