This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
nutella sex= disaster
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
