I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
