I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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