I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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