we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
