i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize