You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize