i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
