Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
