you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
