She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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