dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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