Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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