apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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