I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
