okay pat passed out under dana's car
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
