i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
