I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
