We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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