i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
