some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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