Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
