I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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