sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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