I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
