I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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