He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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