I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
