I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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