Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
