i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize