Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jerry, you need to find god
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize