Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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