dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
