woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
