Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
